Review of: Homemade Videos

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On 10.09.2020
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Homemade Videos

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Übersetzung für "homemade videos" im Deutsch

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A man, who lives in a nursing home, video conferences a former girlfriend from decades ago and professes his never-ending love for her.

Candid images — and even more candid text messages — capture a couple's crumbling relationship and humorous attempts at connection during lockdown.

A young, determined child in isolation tries everything she can to keep herself entertained and occupied at her home.

A man dealing with the day-to-day monotony of life in lockdown finds unexpected company in this short film that was shot solo over a single weekend.

During Japan's state of emergency, the pandemic spurs a boy to contemplate human life on Earth in an impressionistic film shot in Nara. Snapshots of a Glasgow teen's life under lockdown seize on the tedium and strangeness, flights of imagination, and fleeting moments of connection.

As a mysterious virus attacks the solar system, one man attempting to survive in solitude struggles to maintain the simple comforts he once knew.

Trapped in a room together with her toy unicorn, little Mayroun conjures up an imaginary world that gets scarier by the minute. Two sequestered women's sensible caution spikes into full-blown fear after their daughter discovers a mysterious, unconscious stranger at the shore.

A man shares a glimpse of life during isolation in Mexico and makes dumplings in a heartfelt video letter to his mom, who might never watch it.

Stuck at home. Suffering from insomnia. Taunted by crickets. In an exhausted haze between waking and sleep, a young woman tries to turn off her brain.

In a loving look at her family's life in lockdown, the director uses the unexpected gift of time to connect with her kids and grieve for loved ones lost.

A woman sings about surviving life in quarantine as she cleans, dances and muses about how the pandemic affects humanity.

One woman's seemingly serene bike ride highlights a hauntingly deserted but eerily captivating Los Angeles during the lockdown. Call Netflix Netflix.

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Lighting is one of the most underappreciated aspects of filmmaking. If not for lighting, those pristine, fake boobies that make legit porn so enthralling would look like the decrepit peaks of Mordor.

But they don't, do they? No sir, they look delightful. But under your Simpsons novelty lamp they and your ass are going to look flatter than piss on a plate and marred with creeping black shadows.

Probably there weren't a lot of people back in film school learning how to chop and master film reel who were hoping one day to use their talents to string together a series of scenes featuring midgets running a train on a middle-aged lady, but not everyone gets to live their dream.

But the fact is they're still working and their work is important. Thanks to editors, you rarely ever have to watch the action in a porno screech to a halt because someone ate chili last night and now has the wind something fierce.

Something else to avoid before sex. Thanks to editors, when the lead actress starts weeping, softly at first, and then full on tears of desolation and panic, you're instead treated to stock footage of vigorous thrusting.

Thanks to editors, when the lead actor suddenly realizes his parents never loved him and his willy sinks like the future of a family signing up for a subprime mortgage, you never see it.

You just see him when he comes back full of blow and Viagra and is ready to rage hump his abandonment issues away. And if you had an editor, you'd never have to see the full minute sequence when the camera tumbles off the stack of books you put it on so that instead of hot, enticing coitus, all you filmed was a sideways view of the game of peek-a-boo your hairy ass cheeks play as they bob in and out of frame.

Your Star Wars webcam isn't as stable as you think. Unbelievable though it may be, someone writes porn.

They do all that stuff on purpose. There's a dude who has to wake up every morning, get his coffee, sit at a computer and tap his brain to think up a novel new way for a pool cleaner named Mandingo to work off a debt to a woman with breasts that are actually perfectly spherical.

So a porno has a natural more or less ending. The gritty detective humped all the suspects and it turns out they all did it, so they get humped again in prison.

Or Humplestiltskin shows up to collect his prize but the woman knows his real name and yells "Humplestiltskin" and then they hump.

Or the naked cowboy rides off into the sunset with his trusty sidekick Poke-a-hotass. And they hump. How do you end your sex tape?

There's only one way to end a sex tape, with an awkward moment of post-coital repartee. Like maybe you'll climb off and be all "Cut!

Or you'll both giggle and look at the camera and rattle off a moist high five. And in that one moment as you shut down the tape it will negate the entire previous endeavor, reducing it to nothing more than a soulless, empty chore, the emotionless puppet of sex, all in an effort to capture a faint glimpse of your own humanity on tape.

You poor soul. Plus you have the chance to realize you taped over last Christmas' family get together so you could be going from full-on ugly bumping to grandma pouring egg nog in a span of seconds.

That's totally fucked up. Beyond inspiring you to take Herman to the circus, porn has another goal and that is raking in the fat cash.

Do you know how much money porn makes every year? According to my research, it's a fuckload. Both literally and figuratively. So porn is crafted to be cheap, efficient and plentiful when done by the pros.

All the women are hot, all the guys are, you know, present, and none of the scenarios require you to think. But what do you do with homemade porn?

Professionals release it to the masses and then have conventions where the creepiest people alive show up to get autographs and only the bravest or most foolhardy dare go to the washroom.

If you have designs on becoming a porn star, you could sell it to a production company who will probably give you a few hundred for it, along with the knowledge that anyone you pass on the street for the rest of your life could know what your O face looks like.

You could keep it and hope friends and family never find it, so long as you know they will. Someone always will. You can't keep a mysterious unlabelled video or disc sitting around and not expect someone to stumble upon it and not think "I bet this is homemade porn" because that's what everyone will think.

Your aged grandmother, the one who's pouring the egg nog at the end of your home porno? She's going to be going through your cupboards one day trying to dust your shit and see that DVD sitting there and she'll briefly ponder trying to put it on a record player, not even understanding what's going on, just knowing that something in her decrepit, ready-to-be-horrified DNA is insisting she see what's on that disc.

Ian Fortey spends five days a week bleaching assholes over at FunnyCrave.

Homemade Videos

Aus dem Staunen ber das Leonie Pur bumst lustvoll im Badezimmer Dargebotene kaum mehr heraus kamen. - Beispiele aus dem Internet (nicht von der PONS Redaktion geprüft)

Fit First Timer Amateur Porn Debut amateurfirst timefitness. Homemade, Wittstock/Dosse (Wittstock). likes · 53 talking about this · 23 were here. homemade ist ein kleiner Familienbetrieb, der natürliche. Homemade, Wittstock/Dosse (Wittstock). likes · 4 talking about this · 23 were here. homemade ist ein kleiner Familienbetrieb, der natürliche. Übersetzung im Kontext von „homemade videos“ in Englisch-Deutsch von Reverso Context: The application is supposed to help you "play video in virtually any. Many translated example sentences containing "homemade videos" – German-​English dictionary and search engine for German translations. homemade videos. Enjoy our relinquishing galleries bulging with spectacularly taken clips of startling. beauties addicted to recording their naughty sexual acts. Meet stupendous sexy teen girls exposing well. their marvellous shapes in amusing ways. Our galleries . Search millions of videos from across the web. 1/23/ · Thanks to a string of C-list celebrities and low budget websites, the idea of a home sex tape is now more reasonable than ever. Who would turn down a chance to hump on camera? Not me. Not you. Not anyone. But let this be a warning to you, some things do not belong on camera.

Homemade Videos
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